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New Year's Resolutions as acts of (internal) civil war (Or: the counterintuitive method to keep your New Year's Resolution)

Many New Year’s Resolutions carry the frequency of internal civil war.   


What does internal civil war look like? 


Being hard on ourselves. Forcing ourselves along. Shaming ourselves into action. Being mean to ourselves when we fall short. (Which, when we act in this manner, we will. War begets war begets war.) 


What are the effects of internal civil war? 


We remain separate from ourselves: meaning, we have this “good” part over here that has to somehow keep that “bad” part over there in line bc the bad part won’t fall the fuck into formation so that we can finally lead the fucking lives we’ve been trying so hard to lead all this goddamn time. 


This separation that we institute, one person at a time, is the heart of the individual and collective ego. The beating heart of all suffering. And it is innocent. ‘Cause all we’re trying to do, ultimately, is make sure we’re loved. 


Wanna be a big dawg this year? I mean like a REALLY big dawg?


Drop it your action-oriented New Year's Resolution. Even just for the rest of this post. 


Feel the resistance in considering letting go the resolution. The resistance may feel like mild trepidation, an “absolutely fuck no I will not” or downright horror. Look at the resistance. 


(“But how do I—" 


Just look at it. Peeking between your fingers totally counts.) 


Say this to the resistance: I see you.


(Pause)


And I know it’s weird/hard/frightening to be letting this go even just for this moment.


(Pause)


Thanks for hanging in here with me like this, I really appreciate it.   


Breathe some more. 


And that’s it. Just seeing. Just talking a little. 


And lemme stop saying “just”. Seeing and “talking with” in this manner and non-taking action, it’s hard as shit at first. 


It is INFINITELY more effective, though, & the best kind of scary, & the very essence of inner (& world) peace. 


If you commit to this instead—to non-doing your resolution and seeing & talking with it: That goal you sought via your doing-based resolution? It’ll float to you.


You’ll look up & “just” find yourself doing, having, or being more & more of it. Nondoing begets peace begets “holy shit it’s happening!”

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