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A deeper dive 
into IM being 
gift-based

When I talk about Inquiry Meditation to others, I often necessarily refer to the energy behind it, which I feel is the guiding force that brought it forth. 

 

For me, this energy is of the All That Is, belongs to that, is that. Goddess. God. The Tao. Chi. Beyonce’s  seamless song transitions on the Renaissance album. 

 

I see all creative endeavors as sacred partnerships with this energy. 

 

When I initially felt called to coach IM–back when it was called Inner Child Recovery (ICR)--I started putting pricing packages together and pretty immediately felt that was wanted was for me to not charge a fee. Do it for free, I heard, and you can receive donations, yes; but only if the practitioner inquires about giving you something. 

 

Of course, for all the reasons, I answered, “Hell, no. Fuck no.”

 

The energy smiled. 

***

 

We went through this for months. 

 

Over and over again, I checked to be sure this was what I was hearing. I whined, cajoled, came up with reasonable alternatives, presented my case for why operating in this manner couldn’t work–after all, I already struggled with scarcity! Why are you pushing me in even deeper???, and on and on. 

 

I also did the process, though, over and over,  on my multi-faceted suffering over this directive. And it cannot be denied, the process works. My stuff got to come up, deeper and deeper levels of it, in response to this big-ass trigger. And the energy remained calm and sure and waited patiently for me to come into just enough resonance, about 80 percent, to proceed as I’d been instructed. 

 

And I did proceed. I began coaching exactly as I'd been instructed. And I kept practicing ICR on myself in response to all the triggering that necessarily arose around the money piece. And I got to see that my upset about the money had nothing to do with the money. I got to see ever more deeply that every trigger, every upset, will, with examination, with inquiry, reveal its gift and arrive you to evermore deep and true and absolute peace that makes zero fucking sense and simply is. 

 

In other words, the energy Mr. Miyagi’d me. 

 

I got to work with a bunch more practitioners than I would have if I’d gone the package path. Which meant I became a better coach much more quickly than if I’d done things my way.  And I got to see into the very bones of my scarcity issues and a bunch of other issues, too, as I continued to be more and more profoundly triggered and ICR’d more and more deeply in response. 

 

(I also have to add that abundance came for me in a bunch of ways, too. Through clients giving in different capacities, through life circumstances opening up, through realizing more deeply that all I need is this right now–this one right here. Also, I loved coaching the practitioners and experienced so many levels of love.)

***

 

Eventually, I arrived at 100 percent resonance with the energy. 

 

At that moment, my inquiry transitioned from some variation of “But–but–but–whyyyyyyyyyyy?” to “I am your humble servant. How can I serve you fully (the energy) and pay my bills and live well?”

 

Also at that moment, I saw that what was possible with this modality went way deeper than integrating the inner child. I saw that inner child recovery, while critical, is only the beginning of what is possible spiritually 

 

And at that moment, ICR deepened into Inquiry Meditation. 

 

And I knew that I could receive payment for Inquiry Meditation. 

 

I burst out laughing, and the energy laughed with me. 

***

 

The question then became: 

 

How should I charge for IM? 

 

'Charge' is the wrong word, said the energy, and I sighed. 

 

“So this sounds like some truuuuuuly massive fuckery,” I said. 

 

The energy smiled. How can one charge for what is priceless? For the soul is priceless, and that is the level at which you are working.

 

“So then this definitely is some truly massive fuckery,” I surmised. 

 

The energy smiled. You are to receive gifts. 

 

I had no clue what that meant. 

 

But the concept of the gift economy began making itself known to me. I’d kind of soft-core been operating in this manner by receiving donations from practitioners, I realized. 

 

I also realized with all due dread that that’s how the energy wants me to move next. 

 

And then I laughed: a whole new round of triggering and deepening and miracles awaits, it seems. 

 

The energy laughed with me. It’s not telling me what’s coming.

 

But I trust with all the love in me that it’s gonna be good.

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